Now Playing - Kissing You - Girls' Generation
(Note: I will only be naming the first song playing due to my laziness ^^;;)
Oh gosh...
So much has happened in my brain in the last few days. Dinner dance prep, dinner dance, homework, Evie`s bday and now stress of school.
I will get over it.
I will get over it.
I have to.
Screw the expectation.
Screw the pride.
Screw the...everything.
I just want to be happy.
Sometiems I wonder how the world works. I wonder how God is. I want to talk to him, just one on one. See how he is, how he copes with stuff and why he does the thigns he does the things he does. Like in Bruce Almighty when Jim Carrey talks to Morgan Freeman. I want to talk to God sometiems, when I`m scared or lonely, becasue at least he won`t look down on someone like society does. I wonder how people sleep at night, making a living out of processing lies just for the sick entertainment of other, btu causing so much grief. I suppose I can`t say anything, seeing as I myself am guilty of that.
Oh...I better leave it.
//2150.250208.end
Monday, February 25, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
P is for Project
I wanted to add this post but nto as an entry, but as a goal setting device. I realise that CNY is ending tomorrow, so I wanted to set some goals for this new Chinese Nwe Year. Seeing as the Year of the Rat is good time to start things =)
1) Do well in my studies - I need to average about a b+ or A in each subject if I want to do well I spose. Special focus on Art, Physics, I. Calc, Chem and Lit.
2) Get a job - So I can start to save up for Uni
3) Become more fit ( Lose Weight) - NO MORE FAT JOKES. And also for general Wellbeing.
4) Stay positive - I need this the most.
5) Become more independent - So I don`t have to rely so much on my parents.
That`s all for me now.
1) Do well in my studies - I need to average about a b+ or A in each subject if I want to do well I spose. Special focus on Art, Physics, I. Calc, Chem and Lit.
2) Get a job - So I can start to save up for Uni
3) Become more fit ( Lose Weight) - NO MORE FAT JOKES. And also for general Wellbeing.
4) Stay positive - I need this the most.
5) Become more independent - So I don`t have to rely so much on my parents.
That`s all for me now.
P is for Plato
Now Playing - A Fool's Only Tears - Big Bang
Scuse me for naming the post after Plato...school has affected me in wayy too many ways. Whether it be about philosphers or the renaissance, it`s raelly alot to handle right now.
I`m happy to anounce that since the last post, alot of my problems have been resolved, one being the dinner dance. So far my dinner dance radar has been on red alert seeign as it`s only about 3 days until it actually happens. To be truthful I`m a bit scared for several different reasons; date, bling and hair & makeup. The date thing I sorted out; I`m taking Teressa (sp?) brother, Tom. What I am scared about is him. Now I don`t mean to overgeneralise and be racist to all the Viets out there, but it seems to me that the Viet boy community seem all to be gangster? Tom is no exception to this rule? I mean, he`s really friendly and nice, but the stuff Iv`e been hearing about him...they aren`t always very flattering to one`s character. I don`t really want to elaborate much more on there, but then who cares? It`s only one night. Next is bling, I HAVE NO NECKLACE TO WEAR >__<. Hair & makeup is also a problem, well more like hair beign the problem. I can`t decide whether to have it up or down ont he night. I think I will probably leave it up on the night but I still have to arrange an appointment and stuff. Fingers crossed for me that everythign will be good on the day.
Gahh... and this whole time my mum is hissing to me to worry about my camp requirements, which is VERY UNGLAM and a much less interesting subject to discuss. I mean given a chjoice to talk about who you`re taking, what you`re wearing and the excitement about the whole Dinner dance compared to the whining about the animalistic 10 days without a shower living like a savage in the rain and mud down in Wapole with the possibility of being put in the same group as the Big Ethell herself, I think I have a pretty good idea of which one I would rather be takling about.
AHHH!!!! And SCHOOL is stressing my hair white!! I got used to I.Calc, Geo&Trig and yadda but NOT PHYSICS. I swear physics with Mr. Rumford-ten-to-the-negative-five-leg-lunges is like a magic shows; he magically writes physics equations on the board, chants some physics related spells and voila, you leave class scratching your head and wondering how he did it. It`s like they need to produce a Cassii-friendly physics teaching way, becasue HELL I don`t get the mirror formula or stuff related to the focal point or reflections reflecting upon themselves.
Firk, art is actually growing on me now. I actually know who Giotto and Botticelli are (although the spelling may be dodge) and specific paintings such as the Primavera in relation to the Renaissance. I can`t help but think that the Renaissance seemed like such a wonderful time in the history when people came to appreciate the arts and the discovery of new places, bioogy and other things. I sound like a freak already I realise. I`m really falling in love with inks; they`re so beautiful to work with and vibrant in colour. I could seriouisly go on. On the other hand I`m finding everythign else in art incredibly borign as I can`t seem to do any nude drawing proportions or tone right. And my folio is empty.
Socially, everythign seems to be okay. If weather can relate to my mood, it seems like a sunny day with the occaisional dark clouds. My anger with Rebecca seems to have died down a little seeign as avoiding is best. My relationship with the year 12s especially Jackie, Teressa and stuff seems kind of weird. I usually feel really happy when I see them, but... I dunno ever since Tom, it`s liek I`m embarassed to see them. I feel really bad. I need to get over this one, cuz they`re seriously like my Da Jie's. Naomi and me are cool, we`re pretty close cuz we hang out alot. I`m lovign Xue, she`s so cute with her cute new fringe and we hang out quite a lot now. Halse seemed to be pretty pissed off today so we (Naomi&me) dunno whether she`s angry at us or something. Hoft has been...meh. I think she`s having an off day at me. She`s gettign irritated at me...I get the feeling it`s like a Me and Rebecca relationship. Rachel was interrogatign me today about camp. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO BLOODY TELL YOU WITHOUT YOU BLOWING UP AT ME? NO! I DON`T WANT YOU IN MY BIVVY. I NEVER HAVE, NOT EVEN WHEN I FIRST MET YOU! I DON`T FREAKIGN GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE. I feel sorry for Laura, I heard that Rachel pretty much broke any form of ncieness to her and told her that she wasn`t welcome to be our bivvies. Well, to tell yout he truth, I`d ratehr Laura over rahcel pretty much anyday. Except for the days Laura tells me thigns I don`t want to knwo abotu Tom. That`s the only thing =) Michelle has also got on my good book, she`s so funny sometimes and same with Bethany (SURPRISINGLY). I fidn it hard that close to a month ago I was hating her guts, but she`s actually being nice to me, so it`s all good. I think.
It`s so wonderful how manipulative, temperamental and bitchy girls (like me) get.
And another weird thing. I`ve suddenly realised how plastic I`ve bcome in the lead up to my dinner dance. I care so much about appearance, opinions and bugging my parents without feeling much guilt I`m really heartless. Please save me whoever is up ther, cuz if you don`t Im going to turn into a bitch.
I need sleep.
x sweet dreamz
//.2202.20022008.end
Scuse me for naming the post after Plato...school has affected me in wayy too many ways. Whether it be about philosphers or the renaissance, it`s raelly alot to handle right now.
I`m happy to anounce that since the last post, alot of my problems have been resolved, one being the dinner dance. So far my dinner dance radar has been on red alert seeign as it`s only about 3 days until it actually happens. To be truthful I`m a bit scared for several different reasons; date, bling and hair & makeup. The date thing I sorted out; I`m taking Teressa (sp?) brother, Tom. What I am scared about is him. Now I don`t mean to overgeneralise and be racist to all the Viets out there, but it seems to me that the Viet boy community seem all to be gangster? Tom is no exception to this rule? I mean, he`s really friendly and nice, but the stuff Iv`e been hearing about him...they aren`t always very flattering to one`s character. I don`t really want to elaborate much more on there, but then who cares? It`s only one night. Next is bling, I HAVE NO NECKLACE TO WEAR >__<. Hair & makeup is also a problem, well more like hair beign the problem. I can`t decide whether to have it up or down ont he night. I think I will probably leave it up on the night but I still have to arrange an appointment and stuff. Fingers crossed for me that everythign will be good on the day.
Gahh... and this whole time my mum is hissing to me to worry about my camp requirements, which is VERY UNGLAM and a much less interesting subject to discuss. I mean given a chjoice to talk about who you`re taking, what you`re wearing and the excitement about the whole Dinner dance compared to the whining about the animalistic 10 days without a shower living like a savage in the rain and mud down in Wapole with the possibility of being put in the same group as the Big Ethell herself, I think I have a pretty good idea of which one I would rather be takling about.
AHHH!!!! And SCHOOL is stressing my hair white!! I got used to I.Calc, Geo&Trig and yadda but NOT PHYSICS. I swear physics with Mr. Rumford-ten-to-the-negative-five-leg-lunges is like a magic shows; he magically writes physics equations on the board, chants some physics related spells and voila, you leave class scratching your head and wondering how he did it. It`s like they need to produce a Cassii-friendly physics teaching way, becasue HELL I don`t get the mirror formula or stuff related to the focal point or reflections reflecting upon themselves.
Firk, art is actually growing on me now. I actually know who Giotto and Botticelli are (although the spelling may be dodge) and specific paintings such as the Primavera in relation to the Renaissance. I can`t help but think that the Renaissance seemed like such a wonderful time in the history when people came to appreciate the arts and the discovery of new places, bioogy and other things. I sound like a freak already I realise. I`m really falling in love with inks; they`re so beautiful to work with and vibrant in colour. I could seriouisly go on. On the other hand I`m finding everythign else in art incredibly borign as I can`t seem to do any nude drawing proportions or tone right. And my folio is empty.
Socially, everythign seems to be okay. If weather can relate to my mood, it seems like a sunny day with the occaisional dark clouds. My anger with Rebecca seems to have died down a little seeign as avoiding is best. My relationship with the year 12s especially Jackie, Teressa and stuff seems kind of weird. I usually feel really happy when I see them, but... I dunno ever since Tom, it`s liek I`m embarassed to see them. I feel really bad. I need to get over this one, cuz they`re seriously like my Da Jie's. Naomi and me are cool, we`re pretty close cuz we hang out alot. I`m lovign Xue, she`s so cute with her cute new fringe and we hang out quite a lot now. Halse seemed to be pretty pissed off today so we (Naomi&me) dunno whether she`s angry at us or something. Hoft has been...meh. I think she`s having an off day at me. She`s gettign irritated at me...I get the feeling it`s like a Me and Rebecca relationship. Rachel was interrogatign me today about camp. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO BLOODY TELL YOU WITHOUT YOU BLOWING UP AT ME? NO! I DON`T WANT YOU IN MY BIVVY. I NEVER HAVE, NOT EVEN WHEN I FIRST MET YOU! I DON`T FREAKIGN GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE. I feel sorry for Laura, I heard that Rachel pretty much broke any form of ncieness to her and told her that she wasn`t welcome to be our bivvies. Well, to tell yout he truth, I`d ratehr Laura over rahcel pretty much anyday. Except for the days Laura tells me thigns I don`t want to knwo abotu Tom. That`s the only thing =) Michelle has also got on my good book, she`s so funny sometimes and same with Bethany (SURPRISINGLY). I fidn it hard that close to a month ago I was hating her guts, but she`s actually being nice to me, so it`s all good. I think.
It`s so wonderful how manipulative, temperamental and bitchy girls (like me) get.
And another weird thing. I`ve suddenly realised how plastic I`ve bcome in the lead up to my dinner dance. I care so much about appearance, opinions and bugging my parents without feeling much guilt I`m really heartless. Please save me whoever is up ther, cuz if you don`t Im going to turn into a bitch.
I need sleep.
x sweet dreamz
//.2202.20022008.end
Friday, February 8, 2008
P is for Pace
Now Playing - Shake It - Big Bang
Woo, It`s been a while since I last updated. School and hoemwork has taken over my life sadly.
I really think that today I`ll skip the Singapore thing and put it off until next time when I have the time.
These last few days I haven`t been up to much seeing as it`s pretty much a mix of stressing about the dinner dance, homework, year 11 in general, Chinese New Year and dance. Seriously gotta sort stuff out and take things a little slower.
Try Smiling - Daesung
Yup, Mlife pretty much sucks . I hear you asking; It`s CNY! Why does that suck?
Answer: Do you see anyone to celebrate that with? I mean I lvoe my family and all, but 15 days of celebration seems a bit much for 4 people who already ahve to live together =/
There are so many thigns on my mind lately to do with school. Chem, Physics, G&T, IC, Lit and Art I have to deal with the massive amount of homework across a broad selection of revision topics to get into the year. It`s crazy, theyfit revision of last year into a nutshell of 10 minutes. And I forgot all of that stuff >__<. I mean that alone is already killing me and now I have to deal with my friends and the dinner dance.
In the holidays before school started, there were countless dance rehersals and classes to make, and going out with a couple of friends.
I went to play badminton with Evie, Fel and Alice which kind of turned out kind of disastrous becauseof the fact we can`t play it for nuts and we ended up going on a day where there was a social club playing on the same day. After I went to the city with Fel cuz I had dance, it was surprisingly so myuch better than I was originally expecting seeing as before there was alot of tension and awkwardness because of the Devin-Evie thing. I still dunno what`s hppening since then, but meh...I hoep they work it out. Fel and I actually got on pretty well, so I was happy about that. Dance was a killer, spanning from 1:30 till 5pm without any breaks. I nearly died >__<
After that it was learning the fan dance and stuff, so hung out with Hui and La'Belle alot while learnign the dance. Luckily for me, school started then and I have to admit it wasn`t off to a great start.
그래도 좋아 - SeeYa
Orientation itself was okay, but me and Naomi kind of agreed it was just filled with Bethany.
After the weekend back on Monday though, She did a complete 180 on me and was ignoring me, preferring to hang out with Bethany. I mean, I was feeling pretty pissed off already because of the new classes; not beign in many classes with many people or havign certain teachers and stuff.
yes I`m moody liek that, but seriously, don`t do the 180 on me and then ignore me. I`ll just get pissed and hold a silly grudge on you =)
Well then I just hung out with Hoft which was pretty funny seeign as we were going completely psycho during physics making fun of the fact our teacher was playing a bobby pin when he had no hair, how he spits on the whiteboard to show us power or he was just GODDAMN FUNNY. I could rant on all day about him, but I won`t, just because he makes me tired. He talks for 50 mintues of the lesson on topics which have to relevance and actually teaches us in the last 15 minutes.
요즘 나는 - SeeYa & HongKi from FT Island <33
But mainly the first day wasn`t good just becasue of the whole Naomi-Bethany thing. Bethany was doing some major suck up seeing as Naomi foundher a date for the dinner dance. I don`t blame her. I would too. But Naomi grah!
Luckily I`ve gotton over it the last day or so because I just haven`t got time to be angry. There are sooo many other thigns that are worth stressing over than this.
Year 11 is way too different; it`s liek starting afresh all over again so I`m not comfortable yet.
To tell you the truth I can`t even begin to order my week because everythign is a blur.
Topics stressing me out;
Dance: Dance is slowly takign over my life. I have to learn new dances or perfect old onee and I haven`t had time to practice. I mean I could be practicing now but I seriously need a break from it all to get things in line. And I have good reason to worry seeign as my performance for CNY is tomorrow. Sorry social life; Cassii`s weekend is fully booked with CNY performances. But I have to admit I lvoe dance. I dunno whether it`s the dance that`s good or the people. I think it`s a combination of both though. When I hang out with Tai-Ling, Mushu, Hui, La'Belle etc, it`s just so fun. We go psycho like nothing else and feel good about it. It`s rather liberating?
How Gee - Big Bang
Dinner Dance: GAH!!! THIS IS KILLING MEEEEEE. I ahev everythign sorted except for a date. Which I might add is FREAKIGN COMPULSORY. jenn bailed out on me, which I already knew was a HUGE mistake. So I have to clear this one up soon. I think I`ll need Xue`s help on this one. Updates I will give.
Homework: OMG. SO MANY SUBJECTS. ALL of them give the same massive amounts of hoemwork or commitments. Physics is reading up on 3 chaters in a heavy ass book, Chem being a write ups on 2 experiments, IC - every class a new set of questions for hoemwork, G&T - same as IC, Art - Nudes o___O and a whole afternoon to appreciate them, drawing them, Lit; Can I just say the Archbishop of Canterbury in Shakespeare`s Henry V has wayyyy too much to say, a speech taking up 1 and a half pages. And I haven`t mentioned the volleybeall commitment or the fact that B&V actually requires you to pay attention this year.
Friends: They`ve been pretty sweet to me this year. I`m actually pretty content right now at this moment with how everythign is turnign out. I relaly don` care much for Naomi right now, seeign as I`m seeming to hang out alot more with Xue and Sophia not to mention Emma. And plus there haven`t been any fights so far. But I`m getting a bit annoyed at Rebecca...I donn`t know why. It`s really awkward with her becasue we don`t talk much but we have so many classes together and also she tags along with me alot. I can understand seeign as we hang out in the same gruop and all...but do I really need too, trying not to sound too much like a whiny bitch right now?
GONG XI FA CAI =)
(Before I forget, yah?)
Woo, It`s been a while since I last updated. School and hoemwork has taken over my life sadly.
I really think that today I`ll skip the Singapore thing and put it off until next time when I have the time.
These last few days I haven`t been up to much seeing as it`s pretty much a mix of stressing about the dinner dance, homework, year 11 in general, Chinese New Year and dance. Seriously gotta sort stuff out and take things a little slower.
Try Smiling - Daesung
Yup, Mlife pretty much sucks . I hear you asking; It`s CNY! Why does that suck?
Answer: Do you see anyone to celebrate that with? I mean I lvoe my family and all, but 15 days of celebration seems a bit much for 4 people who already ahve to live together =/
There are so many thigns on my mind lately to do with school. Chem, Physics, G&T, IC, Lit and Art I have to deal with the massive amount of homework across a broad selection of revision topics to get into the year. It`s crazy, theyfit revision of last year into a nutshell of 10 minutes. And I forgot all of that stuff >__<. I mean that alone is already killing me and now I have to deal with my friends and the dinner dance.
In the holidays before school started, there were countless dance rehersals and classes to make, and going out with a couple of friends.
I went to play badminton with Evie, Fel and Alice which kind of turned out kind of disastrous becauseof the fact we can`t play it for nuts and we ended up going on a day where there was a social club playing on the same day. After I went to the city with Fel cuz I had dance, it was surprisingly so myuch better than I was originally expecting seeing as before there was alot of tension and awkwardness because of the Devin-Evie thing. I still dunno what`s hppening since then, but meh...I hoep they work it out. Fel and I actually got on pretty well, so I was happy about that. Dance was a killer, spanning from 1:30 till 5pm without any breaks. I nearly died >__<
After that it was learning the fan dance and stuff, so hung out with Hui and La'Belle alot while learnign the dance. Luckily for me, school started then and I have to admit it wasn`t off to a great start.
그래도 좋아 - SeeYa
Orientation itself was okay, but me and Naomi kind of agreed it was just filled with Bethany.
After the weekend back on Monday though, She did a complete 180 on me and was ignoring me, preferring to hang out with Bethany. I mean, I was feeling pretty pissed off already because of the new classes; not beign in many classes with many people or havign certain teachers and stuff.
yes I`m moody liek that, but seriously, don`t do the 180 on me and then ignore me. I`ll just get pissed and hold a silly grudge on you =)
Well then I just hung out with Hoft which was pretty funny seeign as we were going completely psycho during physics making fun of the fact our teacher was playing a bobby pin when he had no hair, how he spits on the whiteboard to show us power or he was just GODDAMN FUNNY. I could rant on all day about him, but I won`t, just because he makes me tired. He talks for 50 mintues of the lesson on topics which have to relevance and actually teaches us in the last 15 minutes.
요즘 나는 - SeeYa & HongKi from FT Island <33
But mainly the first day wasn`t good just becasue of the whole Naomi-Bethany thing. Bethany was doing some major suck up seeing as Naomi foundher a date for the dinner dance. I don`t blame her. I would too. But Naomi grah!
Luckily I`ve gotton over it the last day or so because I just haven`t got time to be angry. There are sooo many other thigns that are worth stressing over than this.
Year 11 is way too different; it`s liek starting afresh all over again so I`m not comfortable yet.
To tell you the truth I can`t even begin to order my week because everythign is a blur.
Topics stressing me out;
Dance: Dance is slowly takign over my life. I have to learn new dances or perfect old onee and I haven`t had time to practice. I mean I could be practicing now but I seriously need a break from it all to get things in line. And I have good reason to worry seeign as my performance for CNY is tomorrow. Sorry social life; Cassii`s weekend is fully booked with CNY performances. But I have to admit I lvoe dance. I dunno whether it`s the dance that`s good or the people. I think it`s a combination of both though. When I hang out with Tai-Ling, Mushu, Hui, La'Belle etc, it`s just so fun. We go psycho like nothing else and feel good about it. It`s rather liberating?
How Gee - Big Bang
Dinner Dance: GAH!!! THIS IS KILLING MEEEEEE. I ahev everythign sorted except for a date. Which I might add is FREAKIGN COMPULSORY. jenn bailed out on me, which I already knew was a HUGE mistake. So I have to clear this one up soon. I think I`ll need Xue`s help on this one. Updates I will give.
Homework: OMG. SO MANY SUBJECTS. ALL of them give the same massive amounts of hoemwork or commitments. Physics is reading up on 3 chaters in a heavy ass book, Chem being a write ups on 2 experiments, IC - every class a new set of questions for hoemwork, G&T - same as IC, Art - Nudes o___O and a whole afternoon to appreciate them, drawing them, Lit; Can I just say the Archbishop of Canterbury in Shakespeare`s Henry V has wayyyy too much to say, a speech taking up 1 and a half pages. And I haven`t mentioned the volleybeall commitment or the fact that B&V actually requires you to pay attention this year.
Friends: They`ve been pretty sweet to me this year. I`m actually pretty content right now at this moment with how everythign is turnign out. I relaly don` care much for Naomi right now, seeign as I`m seeming to hang out alot more with Xue and Sophia not to mention Emma. And plus there haven`t been any fights so far. But I`m getting a bit annoyed at Rebecca...I donn`t know why. It`s really awkward with her becasue we don`t talk much but we have so many classes together and also she tags along with me alot. I can understand seeign as we hang out in the same gruop and all...but do I really need too, trying not to sound too much like a whiny bitch right now?
Chinese New Year: It`s nto so much of a worry, but it`s more of a busy thing. I loved goign otu with Theresa jie for dinner to catch upp on New Years Eve and receiving red packets and all, but my hoemwork is starting to suffer becasue of that. Don`t get me wrong, I ADORE Chiense New year, but the timing sucks. It`s really true abuot events coming in in waves and all. But my CNY is all dance this year. The thigns I do for my own personal satisfaction...sighhh.
This Fool - Wonder Girls
I`ve also been pretty tuned out lately, obsessing over so many new thigns.
I`m officially obsessed with crowns, earrings, pandas, ink, Daesung <3>
Gah, I don`t even knwo what to say now and it`s gettign late so I should go.
Sweet dreamx & night.
//.2212.080208.end
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